Everybody's Looking for Something
by hansbmd
Summary: Nancy accompanies Sonny to church one Sunday morning, which leads to Nancy reflecting back on previous cases and how she's evolved as a person ever since she started solving mysteries. More specifically, how she evolved after Kate Drew's death. Mostly centers around SPY and MED, minor spoilers for a couple games. Songfic. Not preachy, not religious!


**Hello everyone!**

 **How's it going? I'm here with another Nancy Drew story, this one starring Nancy and Sonny Joon. There are some things I need to clear up before you guys read this story, so PLEASE READ THIS MESSAGE! This story doesn't take place in the regular games universe per se, but rather takes place amidst the stories written by The Madman From Hollywood. So her stories, "Answers," "Road Whose Course Does Not Turn Back," and "Breaking Hades," - there are a ton of details in this story that come from those stories, and I, of course, will give her credit for them. For instance, that second paragraph with all the parentheses in it? Those details such as Jamila's pamphlets and Sonny's hair color, later along with them living in Tacoma and Nancy being a freelance reporter all come from her stories. So without further ado, thank you very much to The Madman From Hollywood for allowing me to write a story in her universe! Couldn't have done this without you!**

 **Second, this story does take place in a church but I took pains to make this not sound preachy. My inspiration originally came from a detail I read on Wikipedia that in the earliest versions of the Nancy Drew books, specifically in _The Clue of the Tapping Heels_ , someone did ask Nancy if she attended church and her reply was "As often as I can," which doesn't appear in later books. So I wanted this to be an introspective story, Nancy's self-reflection, how she's evolved throughout the years from her earliest cases to her latest ones. Most of the italicized sentences are from a sermon my preacher gave earlier this year and which I found on the church's website. I specifically chose portions of it that weren't religious and could be interpreted in any way the reader wanted. So that way, it's an introspective story in a setting that leads to that, but this ISN'T a religious story and I don't mean to force mine or any beliefs on anyone.**

 **So more than anything else, this is a reflection of Nancy's cases, especially surrounding The Silent Spy and The Shattered Medallion. And true to my own fashion, it still actually turned out to be a songfic, and what do you know! My first one that isn't a Celtic Woman or Celtic Thunder song. It's an old song...I think from the 80's called "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by the Eurythmics. I hope you all enjoy it!**

 **Happy reading!**

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Nancy fidgeted slightly in her seat, adjusted the collar of her blouse and reached up to fiddle with her necklace, a magnifying glass on a gold chain. Usually, she wasn't so twitchy, but when she was in an uncomfortable situation, which wasn't often, she couldn't help it. Beside her, Sonny Joon, her patient, laidback and sometimes (like now) infuriating boyfriend sat still as a statue and looked up at the lectern, hanging on every word in whatever that morning's lesson was.

To say, she was unnerved would be something of an understatement.

When they'd arrived at the church closest to their apartment in Tacoma, it surprised Nancy how quickly Sonny settled in to his favorite pew and composed himself. Usually, Sonny was up and about and all over the place, from his constant traveling to research things for S.P.I.E.D (which had been put on the back burner now that he was getting an advanced degree, which made him even twitchier than usual, which made Nancy sometimes have to snap at him in order to get him to sit still and get his work done) to his scatterbrained memory at getting things done (there were four messages from Jamila left in as many days asking where the new pamphlets for their students were) to his dying his hair a new color every couple months (currently black and vermillion). Sunday mornings were the only times Nancy didn't see him quite so scatterbrained. He would put on a dress shirt, slacks and a tie (Nancy had done a double take the first time she saw that and even went so far as to ask, "who are you and what have you done with Sonny?"), go to church, then come home looking utterly relaxed and content. That look would last for about five minutes until he got changed and settled at his desk with a cup of coffee and ten or twelve Koko Kringle bars to finally get started on the work he'd been procrastinating on all weekend, and soon he'd be back to his usual self.

The little magnifying glass dangled between Nancy's fingers, their twitching even more pronounced as the service continued. She stood up when she was supposed to, and tried to focus on the service, but it was difficult; she hadn't been in a spiritual place such as this for a very long time. Sonny, seeming to sense her discomfort, reached over and took her hand as they sat back down, gave it a gentle squeeze and whispered, "relax, you're doing just fine." Nancy didn't answer, but the thought couldn't help passing through her mind that she wanted to sneak quietly out the door and wait in the narthex where some volunteers were setting up coffee and snacks for after the service. The problem was she didn't really understand her own discomfort. She had walked head held high into a card club run by a man who stored stolen goods for two Venetian crime bosses and acted like she belonged there, for goodness sake. Why on Earth was she so uncomfortable in a relatively casual and normal setting?

She cast her mind back and tried to remember when she had last sat through a Sunday service. When she was a little girl, Kate and Carson had taken her to church every week; it'd been a good way for her to interact with other children outside of school and meet some of her parents' friends. Then when Kate passed away, it was as though all the faith dissipated out of her body. She continued going for a few years to try and regain some of it, mostly looking for an answer as to why her mother hadn't returned from her trip (in later years, she resented that she'd accepted the car accident story so easily, but as a child, it was easier to believe that and to block the memory of her parents' arguments), an answer she never received by kneeling and praying. In her early teenage years, when she'd first started solving cases around River Heights and the surrounding areas, she'd maintained going to church mostly for her father's sake. She knew Carson prayed every day to keep her safe, she still hadn't told him about all the times she'd nearly died (all he knew about the monolith at Beech Hill for instance was that she'd opened it and come face to face with the mummy, not that she'd gotten trapped inside), and it was likely she never would. Going to church with her dad had kept Carson grounded for at least an hour every week, which was pretty much the only reason she saw to go. When she was working on the case she'd titled _The Clue of the Tapping Heels_ , someone had asked if she attended church, and her reply was, "as often as I can." As the years progressed and she started travelling more, her time became more constrained and she found herself attending services less and less, and finally, she realized, she had grown so methodical, so logical and cynical that she had never bothered going back.

To say that Sonny Joon drove her crazy on a daily basis was the understatement of the century. When they'd been dancing around each other for years, he'd intrigued her certainly, and his notes had come in very handy during some of her cases, but actually meeting him in New Zealand hadn't been what she'd expected. She knew he believed in aliens, she still remembered his theory that the Maya had help building their pyramids and then disappeared because of aliens, and she knew that he believed in the Annunaki, which had nearly ruined Jamila's credibility. She hadn't expected that he would hijack a very popular show and pick specific contestants just to prove one of his theories. He was sweet but cunning when he wanted to be, scatterbrained but just as perceptive as she was. He was a mountain of contradictions, and that was what Nancy loved about him. While Ned had been an open book, straightforward and sincere, Sonny was a puzzle to be solved, a challenge waiting to be accepted.

Nancy Drew was never one to back down from a challenge.

It surprised her though that someone who believed so strongly in aliens and spent so much time searching for their existence and studying what they may have left behind, could also believe in a divine being.

"Why should they be mutually exclusive?" he'd asked when Nancy brought this up when they started living together.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Yes, I believe in other life in the universe, but why should that also mean there isn't a greater power in control of everything? In control of us and in control of them?"

"Doesn't that mean though there isn't such a thing as free will if something else controls us?"

Sonny just shook his head, murmured that he wasn't getting into _this_ debate now, and told her to read Boethius' _Consolation of Philosophy_ if she wanted that argument. It was still on her reading list; being a freelance reporter, taking classes at Udub Tacoma, and stopping local crime didn't leave her with much spare time.

That was a couple months ago and she still didn't really understand, but then again, there were a lot of things about Sonny she didn't really understand, but hey, she had time to figure him out, right? Well, she did if she didn't drown in the bilge of a ship or be crushed by falling debris from a lighthouse or break any bones zip lining across a hotel courtyard (she was glad she'd been all right doing the zip lining in Glasgow – it had been fun).

She shook her head and tried again to pay attention to the sermon. The preacher was saying something about a search. " _Three astrologers searching the skies for a clue…What is out there? Where is it going? What difference does it make?_ " This sounded right up Sonny's alley. No wonder he liked this church, it sounded like the preacher believed in the same things he did. Now, he was mentioning some old song from the 80's about dreams and travels. She was pretty sure she knew which one he meant but didn't think much on it.

" _Everybody's looking for something. If we are honest, we will admit that this is true._ "

Nancy shrugged; she had to give the guy points for that comment. Everyone was always searching for something: with Bess, for instance, it was a cute guy; for George, it was usually a sporting event to win; with Sonny, it was proof that his theories were correct and that he wasn't useless (she still heard him muttering to himself in his sleep sometimes, no matter how many times she told him otherwise); and for Nancy, it was the truth. Plain and simple. She would find a case and she would search for facts, answers, the truth. She couldn't stop until every single piece was in its place and every loose end tied up. As Sophia Leporacce had put it in Venice, " _when you are on a case, you are like a dog with a bone._ " That was how she'd always been, ever since…

She realized with a jolt, ever since her mother had passed away.

She'd always been inquisitive, it was just in her nature. Kate had always trained Nancy in how to think critically by giving her logic problems to do for fun and teaching her how to ask questions. But after Kate died, Nancy's curious nature took on new heights. Deprived of the answers she craved about her mother's death, she sought answers elsewhere, in the hope that other people wouldn't have to suffer the way she had.

" _And we long for, no…we_ _ **hope**_ _for something_ _ **more**_ _in our lives_."

Hope. Nancy relied on hope more often than she cared to admit. How many times had she said "I hope so" to Bess, George, Ned and the Hardy Boys when she was on the phone filling them in on the case? There was always that doubt that she wouldn't find the answers she wanted, but she'd been lucky in that just about every time, the case would end up wrapped up nice and pretty in a box with a beautiful bow. The only time she could think of when they hadn't was when a certain villain had escaped from Dread Isle and they didn't know what had become of him. That still bothered her, but she didn't think of it now as much as she had a few years ago.

But yes, she hoped for something more, all right. That desire to find out what happened to Kate always remained just below the surface, though she hardly ever thought of it when she was focused on a case. She was always looking at the who, what, where, when and why's, never asking how these cases related to her own life.

" _Some of us pour ourselves into hours and hours of vocation; others try more and more years of education. We look to fame and fortune, power and prestige. We take on elaborate hobbies and challenging adventures. We accumulate more stuff_."

Nancy could think of people who fitted all of those statements. John Grey, who devoted his entire life to proving that ghosts were real and the places he investigated actually were haunted. The girls at Waverly Academy all competing for a full ride to the university of their choice so they could find their places in the world. Lori Girard, who cared about nothing more than using her father's money to get attention for herself and her plans always backfiring. Some of the people she'd put away in prison who wanted power or prestige in some shape or form and she had robbed them of it.

Elaborate hobbies: Sonny.

Challenging adventures: Nancy.

How long had it been since she had helped a pair of sweet old ladies keep their home while also searching for her missing father? Now, here she was jet-setting off to Europe and solving high-brow art thefts in Italy and Greece. Once upon a time, no one outside of River Heights had known her name. Now, she had more contacts than she could count and many of them had referred friends to her: Prudence Rutherford getting her to Venice, Moira Chisholm telling Dagny Silva about her, the list went on and on. Her life had changed so much in a few short years, and it was one challenging adventure after another. What was originally supposed to be one semester off of school to visit her Aunt Eloise in Florida had resulted in her spending years travelling and solving mysteries.

However…

" _What is this search all about? Is it really to find reasonable answers to logical questions?_ "

That statement made her think of a debate she and Sonny had had not too long ago.

"You really believe there's an explanation for everything, don't you?"he'd asked.

"Of course I do _,_ " she answered. "Ifthere's no explanation, then it can't be possible."

"Why does something have to have an explanation for it to be possible? Why can't it just happen and there not be any reason for it other than it can happen?"

"Because that's not how the world works, Sonny."

"No, that's not how things work in the world of Nancy Drew," he'd said, tapping on her forehead to emphasize his point. "Things work in the real world like that all the time. You just choose not to see them."

"I see them," Nancy argued, though she admitted to herself that he was probably right. "You know, no matter how fantastic things may seem, there almost always is a logical explanation."

Sonny leaned in and whispered, "you don't know everything, Nancy, and you won't." But then he smiled and said jovially, "but you said almost. Almost everything, which implies that even you think some things can't be rationally explained, which means we're making progress here!"

Nancy had shaken her head and humored him in that regard by not arguing with him, but that comment about her not knowing everything had stirred a memory. She remembered when she had used that same logical explanation line during a case and she'd been given a cold warning for an answer as opposed to the sincere but still amiable advice Sonny had just given her.

" _You don't know everything, Nancy Drew_ ," Linda Penvellyn had told her, which was quickly followed by a demand to leave Blackmoor Manor. When she'd first arrived, Linda had told her, " _there are some doors that should never be opened. Some doors that hold secrets that should never be revealed. That's all you need to know_."

It hadn't been all Nancy needed to know, not when she could prove that Linda wasn't turning into a werewolf. She was just glad the entire thing _had_ actually been psychosomatic and she'd been able to prove that to Linda before the situation escalated further. When she'd spoken to Linda after things had settled down, she knew her friend had returned to her normal self, but she still believed there were some things out of their control. Nancy wasn't sure if she was inclined to agree with her or not, but some of her cases still gave her the creeps (countless times did she revisit Blackmoor Manor and Thornton Hall in her dreams and see the spirits that inhabited them).

But for the most part, yes, it had been a search for answers with Nancy. She had seen incredible sights, done things she never thought she'd do, and enjoyed every minute of it. It had led to some eye-opening moments, for sure.

But none more so than her trip to Scotland.

" _And as you learn what I'm teaching, you'll find the truth that will free you_."

Even though she knew that sentence was meant in a completely different context, she realized it was right: the truth _had_ freed her. She remembered the letter she had written to her mother after finishing the case in Glasgow.

" _I think I was so desperate to solve the mystery of your accident that I forgot I already knew what mattered. I knew who you were, I've known that my whole life. I see you when I look in the mirror and at Dad, and at everything you loved. And I hear your song whenever the world was quiet enough._ "

That case had made a breakthrough in her relationship with her dad also. Carson had always been afraid to talk about Kate in front of Nancy. They'd found a sort of peace after Hannah stepped in and neither of them wanted to risk breaking it. But returning home to find him playing Kate's song on the piano had been like a breath of fresh air, leading to them sitting on the sofa and sharing memories for hours about their lost loved one, which was cathartic for both of them. She'd scoured the house upon her return and while she still hadn't found any more of her mother's letters, she knew she wasn't going to give up anytime soon. Yes, she regretted that she hadn't heard what Kate's last words were, but she had a feeling deep down that she knew already. An apology to both Nancy and Carson for leaving, a wish for them to take care of each other, for Nancy to grow up safe and strong and curious, and more than anything, she would've said she loved them. (But if Zoe ever managed to completely take down Revenant and find her mother's messages while doing so…well, Nancy still hoped.)

Yes, the truth had set her free, free from the crushing feeling of helplessness, the empty feeling that was the absence of concrete answers, everything that had come with her mother's death and haunted her when she let her thoughts wander. River Heights looked different when she got back from Scotland. It wasn't that the town had changed, but that she had. She felt lighter, she felt happier, she felt fulfilled. She knew the truth about her Kate, she had friends she could rely on in Alec and Moira, and if she was honest with herself, even Zoe. But most of all, she felt peace, peace that the whole thing was over and done with and she could move on without Kate's mystery lingering in the back of her mind. Now she could continue doing what she did best with a fresh perspective, and a renewed vigor to help people.

" _Faith is not certainty. If it was, we wouldn't call it faith_."

New Zealand had been, or at least was meant to be, something of a break. As freeing as Glasgow had been, it was also pretty emotionally draining, and when she'd gotten home, Bess and George decided what she needed was a vacation. Of course, her vacations almost never went according to planned – her relaxing trip to Snake Horse Harbor had resulted in a vandalized boat and a smuggling operation, and of course, who could forget the "Phantom Horse" at Shadow Ranch? No, it'd been years since she'd been on a proper vacation. That was why she and Bess had been so excited that they could surprise George with them being on Pacific Run. She should've known something was off-kilter though when she found Sonny Joon there already.

It hadn't been one of her usual cases, in fact, one could make the argument that it wasn't really a case at all. The contestants had all pretty much been Sonny's puppets, controlled on strings to achieve his own ends, and Kiri had broken that string by trapping Nancy and Sonny in the cave. What she said didn't make sense to either of them at the time, making Nancy pay for her betrayal, but in all fairness, both of them were more concerned with getting out in one piece. Later, when Nancy was explaining what had had happened to Bess and George, she said her theory was that Kiri, after being such a success on either New Zealand reality shows, couldn't handle losing this one, and felt Nancy was the only real threat that stood in the way of her victory. So, even though it was Kiri who had dissolved their partnership, she made that speech for the camera, her getting revenge for Nancy breaking her trust. It would look like an accident, Kiri saying she thought what she was doing was part of the show, when in reality, she was eliminating her rival after losing to Nancy in the lightning round.

Still, her trapping them had led to them finding the artifact that Sonny had been after all along. And they had found it, after Sonny's brief moment of disappointment and helplessness. Seeing that look on his face had tugged at Nancy's heart more than she'd admitted at the time. Faith for him was certainty, faith that his uncle's stories were true, and hope that he hadn't built his life around a fantasy. His life was built around faith; if that were taken from him, he might easily crumble.

Nancy was determined to never see that happen.

" _That our lives have meaning and purpose and direction, when we come to the end of our search…"_

Sonny was still convincing himself that his life did have meaning and purpose. Nancy reminded him weekly of this, but it didn't seem to be enough. Nancy's purpose was what it always had been, to help people and to catch bad guys. Her moment of losing direction had come right before Sonny had found her again, when she'd gone to see Fenton Hardy and ask for his advice. She'd needed an unbiased opinion, the reason she'd gone to see him and not her father. But after solving the cases in Scotland and New Zealand, Greece and Iceland, she knew she couldn't turn away from it, not when she could do something to make the world a little better. Ned told her he knew she'd save the world, and if she could do so a little bit at a time, that was enough for her.

" _Yes, it began with a search…Then one night something happened. Something they couldn't ignore or even explain, but it set them on a course that changed their lives forever._ "

Yes, it began with a search. It had begun with Nancy searching for answers. It had begun with Sonny searching for his purpose. One night something happened. Kate was killed in Glasgow. Sonny was in an accident and hospitalized. Something they couldn't ignore, something they couldn't explain. But both of them had been set on courses that changed their lives forever: Sonny to aid his uncle in their search for those artifacts, and Nancy to search for answers about Kate. And while Sonny's work wasn't done yet, part of Nancy's was. She had her answers, she had her spark back, and she could continue doing what she loved. And she knew Kate was always with her in her heart.

" _I hear your song whenever the world is quiet enough_ ," she thought to herself. It was quiet enough now. There was a moment of silence as the sermon ended and for a moment, she almost thought she could feel her mother there. A tear slid down her cheek; she missed her mom, but the pain of loss wasn't as strong as it once was, and now she was free to devote her life to doing what her mom wanted to do, what she was sure Kate had wanted for both of them.

Sonny squeezed her hand again. "Nancy, are you okay?" he asked in a whisper, reaching up with his other hand to cup her face and wipe her tears away with his thumb.

She nodded. "I'm okay," she whispered back.

He raised his eyebrows, asking silently if she was sure. She gave a small smile and nodded again. He nodded back, his look clearly saying he'd ask her again after the service was ended.

Finally, after the last prayer was said and the last hymn sung, Nancy and Sonny were free to stand up and process out with the rest of the congregation. Sonny went right to the refreshment table, got two cups of coffee for them, a doughnut for himself and a chocolate chip cookie for her, and made his way back over to her. The two of them drank their coffee and started the walk back to their car. Sometimes, Sonny stuck around to chat with people, but he had a feeling Nancy was ready to get home. Besides, he wanted to ask her something.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, as he started the car.

"Yes, I'm sure," she nodded. "Everything's better than okay."

She knew Sonny believed her this time, and after a moment of silence, he asked, "what did you think?"

"Very enlightening," she answered.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Is it still a work in progress? Aliens, the divine, any absence of rational explanation?"

She smiled. "While I see the appeal in faith," she began, "I still say that everything has a logical explanation. And I will approach every situation with logic first."

Sonny shook his head and smiled fondly. "Nancy, how many times do I have to tell you? Logic…"

"Logic won't defend me against aliens," she said simultaneously as him.

He just smiled more widely. "Don't you forget it," he said, a little hint of smugness in his voice. As he pulled the car to a stop for a red light, he quickly leaned over and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "I love you."

Without any doubt or hesitation in her voice, Nancy replied, "I love you too." Yes, he was a mess sometimes. Yes, he drove her absolutely crazy. But she loved him. Opposites attract, right?

As the car started again, Sonny turned the radio up and the song they heard playing made them both burst out laughing, considering how it had been related to faith that morning. Even though she'd inherited her mother's singing voice, Nancy couldn't resist singing along with the chorus.

" _I've traveled the world and the seven seas…Everybody's looking for something…_ "

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 **So what did you all think? I hope I did all right with this story and it didn't sound preachy, because I assure you, that's not what I wanted. I had a ton of fun incorporated so many mysteries in here, including two books (I mentioned _The Clue of the Tapping Heels_ already, points if you can guess the other one!) and so many of the games. I actually didn't think I'd include this many references to past games, but in particular, I really wanted this to center on The Silent Spy and The Shattered Medallion. Those really seem to be transitioning points for Nancy in the games, and they certainly are in my friend, The Madman From Hollywood's stories, so I had to include those (thanks again for giving me the incentive to write this story, my friend!). I also gave my explanation for the way MED ended, and I think it turned out all right. I also got some inspiration playing Sea of Darkness again; the line that gave me that inspiration fell almost right at the end of the story.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the story! As always, please favorite and review. See you soon!**


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